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A safer intimate space where you can learn and build confidence with no pressure or judgement.
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If you are a v1rgin, have limited s3xual experience, or your past experiences haven't been safe or satisfying, you are in the right place.
If you've miscarried, gone through a major life event or loss, changed jobs, moved to a different country, had a baby or multiple, experienced birth trauma or had a surgery or gender transition, weight gain or loss, and you're finding yourself feeling disconnected from your genitals. If you feel numb. Or you feel pain. The idea of s3x and intimacy feels far away. Sure, you give yourself an orgasm every now and then, but it feels rushed, furtive or lonely.
Or maybe you've gone through a change and your s3x drive is through the roof. You're looking at everything through this new light of desire. You finally feel strong enough in yourself to know exactly what you want, and your partner is just not on this level with you. You'd love to be having s3x more, connecting more, exploring this newfound s3xuality, presence and drive, but you need someone to do it with. Apps are time consuming and you're not finding the folks you want going on random dates.
Maybe you have an inkling you're queer but you've just never had a space to explore it.
Maybe you've never had an orgasm, and don't know where to begin reaching one.
You have a nagging feeling that there must be more there.
You fantasize about meeting someone you click with, who listens, who touches you gently only after asking permission, or who can help explain and show you what consensual, fun, joyful, safe BDSM play is like. Maybe you just want someone to hold you and wipe your tears and listen as you make yourself come with your vibrator and release pent up emotions and grief that seem to be locked somewhere deep in your pelvic floor.
You don't want this to be a one time experience that leaves you wanting more and unsure how to continue. You want someone who will show up for you, form a secure caring bond with you, check in about how your pleasure practice is feeling.
You're a couple and you love each other, but it's just not clicking when you try to have s3x. Having kids changed things. You want to please each other but don't know how right now. Or you have a fantasy of involving a threesome but don't want to invite someone in with whom it could get emotionally messy. You want a professional.
You want a s3x worker.
But when you look at 3scort websites, you feel somehow alienated...
this is about more than just the s3x for you. This is about your entire healing journey and your ascent into abundance.
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This is about your relationship.
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This is about your relationship to your own body, your own pleasure.
Hi. I'm Gem. And I'm here to hold you.
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Over the last ten years, I've built a thriving doula practice and have intimately accompanied folks through deep states of pleasure, pain, growth, wounding and transformation. But in my work as a doula, I kept bumping up against this energetic wall where the scope of doula care ends but my talents and capacity to give keep going. Picture it: I'm massaging a parent one week postpartum. I press the heel of my palm into their sacrum and slowly move it up towards the base of their skull, gently coaxing and releasing their energy blockages as I rise. I feel goosebumps prickle on their shoulders. My fingers move to their scalp and I rub the roots of their hair, tracing their energy lines downward with the edges of my nails and ever so gently tugging their hair, chanting in my mind for them, it is safe to let go. They're moaning under their breath as milk gushes out of their chest from the oxytocin rush.
They turn to me after with deep lakes in their eyes and tell me, that was the best massage I've had in my life.
I know what we could have opened and I know we did not open it because the doula-client relationship very explicitly does not extend past a simple wellness massage. I know this is about their relaxation and pleasure on one specific level, and just that.
But in my off time, I asked myself, why can't it be about their pleasure on every level? In the bigger picture, why isn't it always about womxn, trans and non binary people's pleasure on every level?
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Another image: I'm massaging someone's sacrum and hips as their baby descends down through their pelvis. Amidst the extreme pressure and intensity, they're yelling, Gem, Gem, don't stop! Don't ever stop! Keep going! Gem!
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And I keep myself fully detached from even the slightest hint of erotic participation in that moment to keep the integrity of our care relationship pristine.
However, I've also held the awareness that in that moment, if there were mutual consent to expand it, there could be
giddyness
growth
pleasure
eroticism
safe non monogamous relating
the potential for several types of orgasm
release of inhibition/ ability to stretch into brand new edges
and power.
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This is why I now openly invite folks into s3xual, sensual, erotic kinship with me. To explore these edges in a consensual, mutual context. It's a natural expansion of my work as a doula.
What I know from being a doula is that what we are taught to fear often contains seeds of our greatest healing.
With me, you can entrust your s3xuality to someone you know has seen it all and has no fear whatsoever of bodily functions or massive, chaotic emotional releases.
You can be messy; you can be scared.
You can be unsure of what you want.
You can be ashamed. You can be numb. You can be hungry.
And you can know I can hold it with care, from a place of experience and true tenderness.
Your body is welcome and perfect here.
Your desire is welcome and perfect here.
Your struggle as a couple to find mutual pleasure is welcome here.
I can’t wait to meet you and hold your body/ies. With love.
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If this feels vulnerable or scary to want, that's allowed. But I'll remind you, there's a reason you wish for this.
Because safer experiences of intimacy are a way to acclimate to trust in yourself and others.
Safer intimacy can make space for trauma to heal and transform.
My advice, as a doula? Trust your body and what it's asking for. There is a deeper wisdom to desire than the mind can grasp.
I want this, but the price feels high....How can I justify paying for this when I have care commitments and bills....
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Energetically, I believe there is no greater investment than choosing abundance and wellness for yourself and taking a strong stance in valuing pleasure. Welcoming this into your life is a huge step in the energy of placing your own needs first. (And the needs of your partnership.) When you do this, you open the door to abundance on so many levels. The dividends from the investment of valuing yourself, valuing what you truly desire, and receiving deliciousness cannot be counted.
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What I didn’t realize when I started this was just how many virgins or folks with traumatic s3xual histories would find me. At this point, it is clear my main reason for doing this work is to do it with a healing valence. My ideal client, the one I am looking for, is someone who needs more than just a physical experience.
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With me, you’ll experience deep honesty. I am someone who never, ever pretends I want something or am having pleasure when I’m not. I will tell you exactly what I want, what I’m feeling, how something lands with me, and what you can do to make an experience feel better for me. If you want, I will educate you as we go along. I will show you how to kiss well, and how and when to ask permission before initiating. You WILL come away a more confident, experienced lover.
90% of my clients come into our first session so nervous that they are trembling. But 100% of my clients leave their session in a cloud of gooey, oxytocin-drunk happiness and gratitude.
Investment for individual sessions
1.5 Hrs 550€
2 Hrs 700€
3 Hrs 900€
4 Hrs 1,100€
6 Hrs 1,500€
Overnight 12 Hours 2,500€
Overnight 15 Hours 3,000€
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But for v1rgin clients, I’ve recently created special bundled rates for 6 month packages. This gives us the opportunity to meet once a month for six months, so you can go deep and explore all the skills you want to learn. This is where the biggest learning and transformation happens. Because s3x is more than putting bodies together. The “more” is what you’ll be well versed and confident in at the end of six months.
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Two hour dates once/ month for six months: 666€ per month
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Three hour dates once/ month for six months: 866€ per month
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Overnight dates once/ month for six months: 2,222€ per month
FAQs
Am I kinky?
Yep, wildly kinky.
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Do I need to be kinky to book a date with you?
Nope.
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Sprichst du Deutsch?
Ja, schreib mir gerne auf Deutsch.
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What’s your experience with trans, inter and gender non conforming clients?
99% of my personal dating & sexual experience is with other trans and non binary folks. I love s3x with all body types and will respect the terms you use for your unique body, g3nitals, and gender expression. If you are feeling dysphoric at some point, I am a trauma-informed practitioner with years of experience assisting folks in regulating from stressed/ activated states and will do my best to hold you through it with grace. Gender, intimacy, and life are messy, so I can never guarantee harm won't happen. But I can guarantee my best effort and earnest intentions. I identify as non binary and it's a huge piece of my own s3xual identity, so hopefully we are starting from some common ground, exploring together. 🖤
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Will my info and experience be kept confidential?
Entirely. I take your privacy seriously as a facet of your overall safety in my care.
Do you see couples?
Yes, I love facilitating folks’ pleasure together.
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What if we’re monogamous?
Example: Some monogamous friends of mine (a cis man and cis woman) asked me on a date because she and her partner were both each other’s firsts, yet she identifies as queer. She and her partner wanted her to be able to explore her sexuality, but they had no interest in changing their monogamous status. We had a lovely time, and they reconnected afterwards to nest and process.
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Will you come between us and our relationship?
My goal in seeing couples is for you two to come away feeling closer to yourselves, your needs and each other. That being said, a group session is only ideal for people comfortable communicating boundaries, jealousies, desires and attachment needs. If you are not certain of your ability to communicate needs and boundaries, write me a note first and let's check in.​
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What if I'm scared?
Permission to book a session nervous. Permission to book a session not knowing what you want. Permission to book a session not sure if it's going to be your thing. Permission to book an intro call (below) and see if the vibe feels right and fully say no and not book if you're not feeling it. Permission to book a session feeling disconnected from your body or sensuality. Permission to book a call or session from whatever place of uncertainty or curiosity you're in.
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What's your recommendation for v1rgins?
Take advantage of the six month package. It takes time to build confidence. Having time takes the pressure off.
Okay, you’re still reading. You’re looking, your feeling, you’re lurking. You know this would actually be so great for you, but but but. You might be in a pattern where you’re used to not reaching for what you REALLY want, what could give you THE MOST pleasure. You feel like it’s not for you. But that’s bullshit.
It is bullshit that was handed to you and you don’t have to take that. It is your life, babe. It is your one precious, wild, abundant, nasty, goofy, gorgeous life, and you deserve to have pleasure in it. Massive amounts of pleasure. Heaps of it.
You belong to pleasure and it belongs to you. Don’t cut yourself off from it.
Let this session be the open door to the rest of your life, reclaiming your time, reclaiming your energy, proclaiming your shine. This is for you, buttercup. Don’t be shy. Reach out and say hi to yourself, your sensuality—it’s where an ENORMOUS amount of your power in this lifetime resides.
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And it is SAFE to be in your power. it is only going to lead to good things for other people.
If you're curious but not sure, start with an intro call to catch the vibe and talk about what you want.
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